How to manage the impacts of adult cyber abuse

Collect evidence

Your immediate reaction might be to make the harmful content disappear, but it is really important that you keep evidence – in case you need to report it to the service or platform, or to eSafety or the police.

Take a screenshot of the abusive messages, posts or comments, or record the webpage addresses (URLs), then put them in a file so you don’t keep seeing them. You can delete the file at any time if you decide not to report the harmful content. 

Our advice on how to collect evidence will help you.

Report harmful content

Report the harmful content to the service or platform used to send, post or share it. This is often the fastest way to have the content removed. You can find reporting links for many services and platforms, including social media, online games and other apps, in The eSafety Guide.

If the harmful content is serious enough to meet the legal definition of adult cyber abuse, and the service or platform does not help, you can report it to eSafety using our online form and we will help to have it removed

You can also report the abuse to the police. This is very important if someone is threatening you or your family or friends. Find out more about getting police and legal help.

Prevent further contact

Try not to respond or hit back. People who say hurtful things often do it just to get a reaction, so if you show it worked they may do it again. Don’t give them the satisfaction – emotional reactions feed the trolls. 

When you have saved evidence and reported the abuse (if you decide to), use the in-app functions to ignore, mute or block the other person or account. If they reappear under a different name, mute or block them again. The eSafety Guide has advice on key safety functions for many services and platforms, including social media, online games and other apps.

It is also a good idea to review your privacy settings to limit who can contact you and see what you are doing or where you are going. The eSafety Guide includes advice on how to update your privacy settings.

Get more help

People who have experienced adult cyber abuse can feel a range of emotions from fear to anxiety, anger and a sense of hopelessness. They may suffer trauma and ongoing depression. The impacts can be temporary, but in some cases they can last a long time.

It can be hard to reach out for help, but talking to someone else about it can make a big difference.

Telling a friend or loved one about what you are going through can help you feel heard and supported, easing the stress. Sometimes they provide a different perspective on what you have been going through, which may help you to stop feeling overwhelmed. They can also help you report an adult cyber abuse complaint to eSafety, get help from police or find legal help.

If, like lots of Australians, you feel like you do not have anyone close you can talk to about adult cyber abuse – or you want expert help – a counselling service can provide immediate, non-judgemental support and advice.

Take care of your wellbeing

Dealing with adult cyber abuse may feel overwhelming, but you can get past it. Try these tips for taking care of your mental and emotional wellbeing.

• Acknowledge your feelings – you are allowed to be upset.
• Be kind to yourself – it’s not your fault that you have been abused.
• Remember your strengths. Don’t let the opinions of others define your self-worth. Remind yourself of your best qualities and attributes.
• Regularly practise self-care by making time for leisure, exercise, good nutrition and adequate sleep.
• Try meditation or other relaxation techniques.
• Surround yourself with positive people.
• Allow yourself time to heal.

Create a safe space offline

Reduce your chance of exposure to harmful content and behaviour online. If possible, try to switch off your devices or notifications at certain times of the day. Go for a walk, catch up with a friend or read a book. 

You could also set aside an internet-free space in your home. For example, keep your phone and other devices out of your bedroom at night.

Be positive online

Don’t be afraid to respond to negative comments with a positive attitude. You can set the standard for positive online behaviour by communicating with respect, tolerance and empathy.

Check our tailored advice

Depending on your situation, you may find the following advice useful:

• Image-based abuse explains what to do if someone has shared, or threatened to share, an intimate image or video without the consent of the person shown. This is sometimes known as ‘revenge porn’.
• Domestic and family violence has advice on how to deal with online abuse that is part of domestic and family violence, including cyberstalking.
• There are tailored tips for women about how to stay safe online.
• Women In The Spotlight includes information about how to manage the impacts for women who experience online abuse as part of their work.
• There is specialist advice for diverse communities, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples, lesbian, gay, bi, trans, intersex or queer people and people living with disability.
• We also have online safety advice translated into languages other than English.