Playing games with others
When children play games online with others (often called multiplayer games), they can talk and interact with people of all ages from around the world.
Many young people enjoy these games as a way to connect with family and friends or have competitive matches. This can be a great way to build friendships, especially for those who find offline socialising challenging.
Communicating with others can also bring a range of risks, such as bullying, unsafe or unwanted sexual contact, exposure to negative or age-inappropriate content, and picking up harmful behaviours or attitudes from others.
You can find more information about the range of online risks or strategies to manage them as a parent in our issues and advice section.
When it comes to online gaming, deciding if and how your child communicates with others is an important safety choice.
On this page:
- How children communicate in games
- How to use parental controls to make communication safer
- Make safer communication choices together with your child
- Agreeing on the rules for communicating with others online
- Warning signs of unsafe contact
- Encourage your child to speak up
- How to get help if something goes wrong
How children communicate in games
Most online multiplayer games include ways to talk to others, such as through:
- text or voice chat
- private messages
- sharing content or gifts.
Some of these types of communication have more risks than others, and some are harder to supervise.
It’s best to introduce communication in games slowly. Think about the interactions you don’t allow offline and whether, this applies online – such as regular conversations with people they haven’t met in person or private chats with adults.
While every game can have different online features, most games offer tools to limit or block communication between players.
How to use parental controls to make communication safer
Parental controls can help you choose which level of communication you are comfortable with your child having when gaming with others online. Remember, these settings can be changed and updated at any time.
Talk with your child about what parental controls you plan to use and why. This helps build trust and understanding. Ask if they have any questions or thoughts, they may have valuable insights into how they use communication features in games.
To explore the different ways you can use parental controls, click or tap on the + icons to learn more.
Restrict all communication
Your child can still play the game with others online, but all communication features are turned off. This is recommended for younger children and those struggling with respectful and safe communication with others. Although if they are playing on a team (or squad), this can make gameplay difficult.
Limit communication to friends
While this may not remove all risks, it can help reduce exposure to unknown adults or more problematic communities. Most games allow communication to be restricted to listed friends. For this to be helpful, you will also need to manage who can add your child as a friend.
Limit risky communication features
Wherever possible in games and platforms, it is recommended that parents turn off private messaging, gift giving functions and content-sharing features (or set them to ‘friends only’).
Gift-giving in games can sometimes be used to build trust or influence between players, including people your child may not know personally. Turning off or limiting this feature can help reduce the risk of unwanted contact or feeling pressured to give something in return.
Even when set to ‘friends only’, this should be done with appropriate supervision. The way to turn off these features is different for each game, so you will need to look up specific instructions for the one your child is playing. You can also teach your child not to click on links provided by strangers, like ‘cheat’ programs to help with gameplay, that might put their device at risk of getting harmful content or viruses.
You can also find more information about parental controls in our page about Setting up and choosing games safely.
Make safer communication choices together with your child
Check the game first
Read reviews and check out the The eSafety Guide to understand which communication features are present. Look for information about the game and the gaming community.
Set the rules together
Talk with your child about how they want to play and agree on what types of communication are appropriate.
While playing
Have regular conversations with your child about their experiences in games and watch them play. If you allow them to interact with the broader community (such as public chat), be sure you can observe their gameplay and interactions with others to get a better understanding of what they experiencing while they play the game.
Agreeing on the rules for communicating with others online
Setting clear rules together for online communication makes it easier to keep your child safe. eSafety has a resource called a family tech agreement, which is a set of rules about how devices, like smartphones, tablets, computers, TVs and gaming consoles are used in your home.
Here are some things you might want to include about interacting with others online:
- Who they can communicate with and add as friends. Children should only communicate with people they (and you) know and trust in real life. Public chat is not recommended for children without direct supervision.
- How they can communicate in-game. Be specific about how they can communicate, including whether they can text, video, voice or private message.
- Recommended: Children and younger teens should not be using risky features like private messaging (also known in some games as ‘whispers’), the option to give ‘gifts,’ the ability to share content, or live streaming.
- How communication will be restricted or supervised. Set clear expectations of how you’ll manage communication together. Parental controls can help limit certain types of communication, but there will still need to be appropriate supervision.
- When rules might vary for different games. Some games have communities that normalise harmful behaviours and negative communication more than others. In these cases, it is not recommended public chat is enabled.
Warning signs of unsafe contact
Children of all ages should know how to spot signs that someone online might be unsafe, such as:
- Trying to get to know them or become their friend very quickly.
- Asking them to share information that should be kept private.
- Giving gifts or game items of significant value.
- Asking them to keep secrets or not share their interaction with others.
- Encouraging them to move to a different platform that is more private and offers features like video chat.
- Asking them to send sexual content.
Even if someone says they are a child, this may not be true. Learn more about unsafe contact and grooming, including warning signs, how to support your child, and what can be reported.
Encourage your child to speak up
Teach your child to help anyone they see being abused or harmed. This is also known as being an upstander. Being an upstander doesn’t always mean directly confronting someone, especially if it doesn’t feel safe. Instead, it can mean:
- speaking up if they feel safe to do so
- supporting a friend who might be feeling uncomfortable
- seeking help from a trusted adult when something doesn’t feel right
- using tech tools like reporting, muting or blocking to manage the situation
- encouraging others to get help too.
Let children know that help-seeking is a strength, not a weakness. They should feel confident that they can come to you or another trusted adult without fear of getting in trouble. Reassure them that their safety is your priority, and that no situation is too embarrassing or scary to talk about. And remember, it’s not just about saying the right things – how you respond matters too.
Staying calm and supportive helps your child believe they can come to you the next time something goes wrong.
You can also explore together what to do if they see something negative happening to someone else. For younger children, this might mean simply telling an adult. For older children, it might include checking in with a friend or encouraging them to make a report. See eSafety’s advice for young people on how to be an upstander.
How to get help if something goes wrong
Gaming platforms have a responsibility to ensure every player’s safety. If your child is experiencing online harm while they play, there are steps you can take to deal with the situation.
Find out how you can help your child if something goes wrong online, including how to make a report to the platform or to eSafety.
Last updated: 08/12/2025
