Gaming together as a family
One of the best ways to support your child’s safe and positive gaming experience is to get involved.
Gaming is a great way to build connection as a family and spend quality time together. By being engaged, you’ll gain a better understanding of the game’s content and any potential risks, making it more likely that your child will turn to you if there is an issue.
On this page:
How to get involved
There are different ways you can join in on the game with your child:
- Be an active spectator. Watch, notice and talk about the gameplay. Help them problem solve and provide encouragement.
- Play the game together. Some games let two people play on the same screen, and others let you take turns or join on another device. Choose what works best for your family.
- Talk with them about their gaming experiences. Ask them what they enjoy about the game and what’s difficult. Understanding the game makes it easier to discuss safety and support them.
When gaming together:
- Make it a fun activity. Avoid being critical of the game or their play.
- Celebrate their effort, not just the wins. Like when they keep trying after failing.
- Learn together. Model the behaviours you want to see, such as handling a difficult task or level, playing respectfully with others, or knowing when to take a break.
Making gaming together work for your family
Playing together will look different for every family. Here are some things to keep in mind:
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Make it a regular activity
Make gaming together into a family tradition. Choose a time and place so it becomes a routine you all enjoy.
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Keep it short if needed
Playing together doesn’t need to happen every time or for long periods. You might find it helpful to play or watch for the last 5 to 10 minutes. This can be good for kids who struggle with turning off the game.
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Let your child be an expert
Give them the chance to lead and teach you about their favourite game. It’s a great way for them to share their passion.
Understanding emotions while gaming
Gaming can bring out strong feelings. You can help your child to:
- notice when they are having strong emotional reactions and help them name them
- talk about situations that trigger frustration and discuss ways to cope. For example, in response to negative interactions, they might choose to mute the chat for a while. It is helpful to talk about and practise these strategies when everyone is calm, rather than during gameplay. Raising Children Network has more information about supporting children to manage intense emotions.
Headspace also has guidance to help parents and carers support healthy gaming habits in young people, including what to do if gaming becomes a concern.
What is the right amount of game time?
There is no one right amount of time to be online. Every child and family is different. Instead of focusing on a total amount of time, consider these two key questions:
- What are they doing during their time online?
- Are they getting enough time for all things that support a healthy life?
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What does a healthy balance look like?
Balanced gaming means that the amount of time spent gaming still leaves enough time for family activities, connecting with friends, physical activity, sleep, school and time outdoors. Set some key expectations, for example:
- Encourage gaming to fit around key moments of family connection (such as mealtimes) or socialising face-to-face with friends.
- Support healthy sleep habits by avoiding device use the hour before bed or have access to devices during hours they should be sleeping.
- Rather than focusing on screen-free time, focus on what you want to increase or replace that time with, such as a family walk, time in nature or time for study.
To help gaming be as beneficial as possible, encourage use that is:
- Intentional – Go online with a purpose (play a game or chat with friends). Set limits on activities like watching reels or live streams, that can be difficult to stop.
- Higher in quality – Prioritise games that provide better-quality gaming experiences. Raising Children Network has more information about choosing high-quality games.
- Positive and safe – Make sure interactions with others are respectful. Who your child plays with will shape their experience. This is not just who they are talking with directly – if they are using public chat, the behaviours that are normal or acceptable can also influence your child’s behaviour and views. Make sure you get to know the game and the community who play it.
When it might be time to make changes
Children can get a lot of value from games, but it’s important that games aren’t the only way they can cope, relax, have fun or connect with others. If they are relying only on games to meet these needs, focus on building in and encouraging other ways to do this where possible.
Look out for changes in your child’s behaviour, such as:
- less interest in social activities like meeting friends or playing sport
- not doing so well at school
- tiredness, sleep disturbance, headaches or eye strain
- changes in eating patterns
- reduced personal hygiene
- obsession with particular websites or games
- getting angry when asked to take a break from online activity, or appearing anxious or irritable when away from the computer
- becoming withdrawn from friends and family.
Monitoring your child’s experiences with gaming and helping them transition to other activities is important for all children.
For those who may find transitions more challenging, such as neurodivergent children and young people, using supportive strategies can help ease these moments. For example, transition timers or creating clear routines and limits with input from your child where possible.
In some cases, setting clear limits as a family may be enough to help manage too much gaming. If you notice ongoing challenges or any changes in your child that concern you, you may want to contact a counselling or support service for more help.
Headspace has created a guide that can help families identify when it might be time to seek support. If you are concerned about your child’s mental health, do not make sudden changes or restrict technology before talking with a mental health practitioner or another counselling and support service.
Helping your child know when it’s time to take a break
Gaming can be a lot of fun, but it’s helpful to know when it’s time to pause.
While older children might be able to reflect on whether their overall gaming time feels right for them, younger children often need support to learn how to recognise when they need a break, and understand when it might be a good time to switch it off.
Before playing, get your child to ask themselves:
- ‘How can I prepare for when it’s time to switch off?’ It can be easy to lose track of time when gaming. You can suggest they use an alarm or a 15-minute warning to support a smoother transition to stopping gameplay.
Help your child recognise their own signs. Are they becoming frustrated, having arguments with friends or feeling overwhelmed? Letting them know they can come back to the game later can make taking a break easier.
While playing, your child can ask themselves:
- ‘How am I feeling?’ Overall, are they still enjoying themselves, or are they getting upset more often?
- ‘How are my interactions with friends?’ Some conflict or frustration might be normal, especially in competitive games, but it shouldn’t be most of their playtime together.
- ‘Do I feel in control of my actions?’ Are they getting upset over little things or are most things making them angry or upset? Are they doing things they wouldn’t normally do? If so, it might be time to take a break and reassess if now is the right time or if there is a better way to play (such as solo, instead of with others).
- Particularly for neurodivergent children or those with disabilities: ‘Am I feeling dysregulated or uncomfortable by sounds, visuals or fast-paced action in the game?’ If the game is starting to feel too intense or overstimulating, it might be a good time to take a sensory break or switch to a calmer activity.
Agreeing on rules about game time with your child
Setting a few agreed guidelines for screen and game time makes it easier to follow through. eSafety has a resource called a family tech agreement, which is a set of rules about how devices, like smartphones, tablets, computers, TVs and gaming consoles are used in your home.
Here are some things you might want to include about screen and game time:
- How to find the right amount of time. Children and some young people will need support to plan and manage their gaming time. Set agreed limits, as well as times where this might be more flexible (such as school holidays). See our advice on managing screen time to support your family in finding the right balance.
- How to manage switching off. Parental controls can help, but it's not always practical to turn off or pause a game at a set time. More helpful approaches include setting a timer and agreeing to finish at the end of a round or the next save point.
- Signs it’s time to rethink gaming time. This might include things like missing out on sleep, homework or other important activities.
- Stay involved, even if you're not playing. Take an interest by asking about the storyline or characters in the game if you don’t feel comfortable playing yourself, or if your child prefers to play solo. You can read eSafety’s guide on talking to children about gaming.
How to get help if something goes wrong
Gaming platforms have a responsibility to ensure every player’s safety. If your child is experiencing online harm while they play, there are steps you can take to deal with the situation.
Find out how you can help your child if something goes wrong online, including how to make a report to the platform or to eSafety.
Last updated: 08/12/2025
