Sending nudes and sexting

In a 2017 eSafety survey, 9 out of 10 young people aged 14 to 17 thought that sexting happened among their peers – as a kind of courtship behaviour.

However, it may not be quite as common as they think. 

1 in 3 said they had actually experienced sexting in some way – whether sending, receiving, asking, being asked, sharing or showing nude or nearly nude pictures. 

5% said they had sent an intimate image, and 19% of these said they did it because they trusted the person they sent it to.   

15% reported being asked for an image, with 52% of requests coming from someone they did not know. 

73% said they did not send an image after being asked (82% of 14 year olds compared to 66% of 17 year olds). 

Sharing intimate images may seem like a bit of fun or innocent flirting for young people, particularly those in a relationship. But things can go wrong and it is important your child understands this. 

The child loses control of the image

• Once an image is shared, it can be copied and saved by others, shared with people the sender does not know and posted on social media and public websites. 
• Images can be extremely difficult to remove and the consequences can follow a young person into adulthood.

Things can go wrong – even in a trusted relationship or friendship

• A friend or partner may, on impulse and without thinking, share an image more broadly than the sender intended. 
• An ex-partner or friend may intentionally share, or threaten to share, an intimate photo or video of a young person without their consent. This is image-based abuse.

Images may not always be sent willingly 

• Young people may be forced or pressured into sending explicit images or videos. 
• This may be a particular risk when communicating on a dating site or with strangers whose real motives might not be known or understood. 
• Even young people who know each other may experience coercion or pressure to send a nude. 
• Sometimes sexting can lead to ‘sexual extortion' when someone threatens to share an intimate image unless the person in the image pays money or gives into their demands. 

You can find out more about sexual extortion in the image-based abuse section of the site. Read our guide to grooming and unwanted contact.

The consequences can be serious 

For young people, sharing naked or sexually explicit images might result in:

• Humiliation, guilt, shame, anger and self-blame – leading to ongoing emotional distress, withdrawal from school and family life. In severe cases this can result in self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
• Bullying, teasing and harassment from peers – if photos are shared around their school community or friendship group.
• Damage to their reputation – it may impact on their reputation and performance at school, as well as employment opportunities in the future.
• Criminal charges and penalties – it is against the law to request, access, create, possess and/or share sexualised images of people under 18 years.

Sexting and the law

There are Commonwealth and state and territory laws that relate to sexualised images of children and young people under 18. (In some states, these laws only apply to images of children and young people under 16 or 17, but police in every state also have the option of using the Commonwealth laws, which apply to images of young people up to 18). 

A young person who asks for, accesses, possesses, creates or shares sexualised images of someone under 18 may be at risk of criminal charges – even if both parties consented. Being found guilty of these offences can result in a criminal record and registration as a sex offender in some circumstances. This would prohibit them from working or volunteering in places involving children and may require them to regularly report to police and have restrictions placed on their freedom of movement.

Some states have added defences or exceptions to these laws for consensual sexting between young people of similar ages. 

Given the laws in this area are complex, it is important to be aware of the law and the legal services that are available to advise and support young people who have been involved in sexting.

For more information about relevant laws in Australia, visit Youth Law Australia.

Talk early, talk often

Match your approach to your child’s level of maturity, age and the type of relationship you share with them. Maybe take the opportunity for a chat while you are doing something together, like a long walk or a car trip.

You could start from a real life story in the media or from their school or community, asking questions like: Do you think it was right for her to share that photo after they broke up? Do you think it was right for him to post that video online of his friend having sex with a girl? 

Explore what their friends think about sharing nudes. Ask what they think might happen if one of their friend’s nudes went viral, and how it might make their friend feel.

Let them know that they can always approach you if they feel pressured to share an image of themselves or if they have shared an image of someone else. Let them know that you will support them.

Check out our advice on having hard-to-have conversations with your child.

Promote self-confidence and that it is OK to say ‘no'

Explain that they do not have to send intimate images just because others do.

Let them know that it is OK to say ‘no’ when someone asks for an intimate photo, even if it is their boyfriend or girlfriend or someone they trust. Respecting their bodies and personal values is important.

Talk about ways your child can handle a request for a nude photo. They could respond in funny ways like sending a picture of some noodles or an animal.

If the unwanted requests continue, encourage your child to reply with a stern ‘no’. But if things get aggressive, your child should consider blocking the person and seek support from a trusted adult. It is also a good idea to save screenshots of any abusive or threatening message in case you want to report them later on.

Teach them about consent, personal boundaries and respect for self and others

Help them understand that they need a person's consent before they share an image of them.  

Talk about mutual respect, trust and consent are why these behaviours are important to maintain healthy and respectful relationships.  

Explain that pressure from a boyfriend or girlfriend to share an intimate image is not an example of a respectful relationship.

Talk about the risks – what can go wrong and the legal issues 

Remind them that once an image is shared, it is almost impossible to get it back or control how it is shared. 

Point out that images which include identifiable features, such as a person’s face, hair, tattoos, distinctive clothing or jewellery, can carry a higher risk. It may also be possible to identify someone by matching the background of the image to the background of their public profile pic.

Help them understand that viewing or sending intimate images can carry the risk of committing a crime, even if the image has been willingly shared.

Stay calm and open

• Try to approach the situation calmly. If you are upset or angry, your child may feel like they cannot come to you about other concerns in the future.
• Thank them for being brave enough to let you know.
• While being supportive, help them understand the consequences of their actions. Reassure them that they are not alone and you will work through this together.

Listen, and act fast

Gather as many details as you can and act fast to minimise the risk of harm – see advice below on steps you can take depending on the situation. 

Seek help if you are concerned about your child 

• Consider talking to your GP if you have other concerns about the health and wellbeing of your child and seek a referral to an adolescent psychologist.
• Young people can access counselling services from Kids Helpline (for 5 to 25 year olds) and headspace (for 12 to 25 year olds). Free and confidential legal advice is available from Youth Law Australia (for young people under 25 years) and local community legal centres can also assist with advice and referrals.