Coercive control: information sheet

Understanding coercive control and its impact

• Coercive control is not a single act, but a pattern of behaviour designed to manipulate, intimidate, and control another person. 
• Digital technologies are often used as part of coercive control (sometimes known as 'tech-based coercive control'), to help a person gain and keep power over the other person.
• Coercive control creates fear and slowly wears down a young person’s independence and sense of who they are.
• Some controlling behaviours, such as tracking using location services, constant messaging, knowing each other’s passwords and passphrases, are often seen as signs of love by people, which normalises abuse.
• Various platforms including social media can be used to control someone, for example: by tracking when they’re online or monitoring who they interact with. This behaviour can make it harder for others to notice what’s going on.

How technology has enabled coercive control among young people

• Most of us rely on digital devices as well as technologies that use internet connections to communicate and keep in touch. This includes messaging apps, social media, emails and other online platforms and services.
• While technology and digital devices come with many positives, they have it’s also opened new channels for harm. Technology is a powerful tool in facilitating coercive control.
• Everyday apps can be misused to monitor, pressure or control someone.
• Digital abuse is often hidden, making it hard to recognise – both for young people who may be experiencing it and for the adults in their lives.
• The signs of digital control can be subtle, making it hard for young people to identify what’s happening. 

Behaviours to watch for:

Obsessive texting or calling – constantly demanding communication, which isolates young people from friends and family and creates dependency on the other person.

Demanding constant location sharing – which is framed as care but is a means of control.

Monitoring someone’s social media and online activity –making them question their own perceptions or feel uncertain about what really happened.

Pressuring for intimate images – demanding explicit photos or videos can create fear or pressure, particularly if there’s a threat they’ll be shared without consent (image-based abuse). This behaviour can also be used to intimidate or manipulate, leaving the other person feeling trapped.

Stages of coercive control:

Coercive control typically unfolds in stages; each aimed at gradually increasing control over the other person. The stages can happen at different times in a relationship and don’t have to follow a particular order.

Love bombing: The person initially showers their girlfriend/boyfriend with affection, compliments, and grand gestures. This creates a strong emotional bond, making it harder to recognise manipulation. Young people in their first relationships may not always know what healthy respectful behaviour looks like.

Isolation: This can happen gradually – starting with subtle requests to spend more time together and escalating to behaviours that cause the young person to pull away from friends and family, often by undermining their trust in others or creating conflict.

Manipulation: Once isolated, the controlling behaviour often escalates – through intimidation, constant criticism, or attempts to micromanage how the young person acts, leading to confusion and anxiety and a growing sense of dependence.

You can help young people to collect evidence and report the coercive control if it is part of cyberbullying targeting someone under 18, adult cyber abuse or image-based abuse (sharing, or threatening to share, an intimate image or video without the consent of the person shown).

Find out more at Report online harm.