If someone is abusing, threatening or stalking you through technology, remember it is not your fault and it is definitely not OK.
The abuser’s behaviour can be very difficult to understand, and you can waste a lot of energy and time trying to work out what is driving them and why they won’t stop.
Once you have your eSafety plan, it is time to focus on yourself and on those you love, rather than on the abuser. The more you focus on the abuse, the more distressed you will feel.
Getting good support straight away will help you and those you love cope better not only now but also in the future.
Being abused, threatened and cyberstalked is traumatic and extremely stressful, and reactions can vary. It’s normal to experience one or more of these reactions, such as feeling:
You may also:
Remember that the abuse is not your fault.
Although seeking support can be hard, getting support now will help you and those you love in the long run.
Friends and family can give you great support so if you can, tell them what’s happening.
Even if you can talk to friends or family, talking to a trained person is important for you. Even if you feel as though you are coping now you, and many other people, will find that talking to a trained person can help ensure that you cope well with any legal processes or any ongoing contact with the abuser (such as arrangements for any children).
A trained person is professional and independent, and a person you can be completely honest with. They can provide a safe, non-judgmental space for you to retell your story and talk through your fears, while gently guiding you with strategies and resources to support you. This can be very helpful.
Remember, it’s normal to need help, even after the abuse has stopped.
Your doctor (GP) can refer you to a counsellor through a local health service, mental health nurses or a psychologist. Your GP does this through the Mental Health Treatment Plan Program, which is subsidised by Medicare.
If you or someone you love has a serious psychiatric or psychological episode, such as hallucinations or intends to harm or kill themselves, contact their GP, counsellor or psychologist. If you cannot find someone who is available, you can take, or call an ambulance to take them, to the local hospital emergency department.
Call Triple Zero (000) for an ambulance if there are immediate safety concerns for the person or for others.
Don’t leave alone any person who has expressed an intent to kill themselves. Stay with them until help arrives or you can get them to help.
If your child is:
If a person abusing you, your family or friends is in serious danger, threatening to harm themselves or others, or is clearly psychologically unwell, call Triple Zero (000).
You must put your safety first, leave the situation if you can do so safely and call for help as soon as you can. Even if they are close to you, the best thing is to get yourself and others away quickly and safely and then call for help. You will not be able to help them yourself and may put yourself and others in danger if you stay and try.
MensLine Australia (1300 78 99 78) is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, is available from anywhere in Australia and is staffed by professional counsellors, providing men with confidential and anonymous information and support.
IDCARE is Australia and New Zealand’s National Identity Support Service. IDCARE is an independent national service created by leading organisations from government and industry that care about people's information and privacy. Its services are free to the community and IDCARE’s expertise lies in supporting individuals and organisations when identity information has been put at risk. Their services transcend the online, digital and physical environments. Their clients receive a tailored response plan that's designed to respond to immediate concerns and mitigate future risks. IDCARE’s trained Identity Security Counsellors are there to support you every step of the way.
For more information about IDCARE please visit www.idcare.org or Call IDCARE’s national toll-free hotline: 1300 432 273 (AUS)