The hard-to-have conversations

Children in this age group are learning about the world and how they feel. They benefit from close supervision, shared online activities and reassuring conversations. The goal at this age is to help them recognise when something doesn't feel right and know they can always come to you for help.

Topics to start talking about:

• Seeing something upsetting or confusing. Young children may come across content that scares or confuses them – it could be a violent video, a scary image or something they simply don't understand. Let them know it's not their fault and they should always tell a trusted adult. You could ask: 'Have you ever seen something on a screen that made you feel funny or scared? What did you do?'
• Being kind and respectful online. Just as in everyday life, being kind to others matters online too. Talk about how words and actions online can affect other people's feelings.
• Keeping personal information private. Help your child understand what personal information is and why it's important not to share things like their full name, school, address or photos with strangers online.
• Asking for help. Make sure your child knows they can come to you, or another trusted adult, whenever something happens online that doesn't feel right. You could say: 'Most people online are okay, but some people might say or send things that are upsetting or make you uncomfortable. If that happens, you should stop, walk away and tell an adult you trust.' You can also practise what they could say, for example: 'I saw something that made me feel yucky. Can you help?'

Practical tips

• Whenever possible, sit with your child during their online activities. Watching how they play, communicate and react provides insight into their world and opens up natural conversations. Try asking questions like:
  • ‘What do you like about this game?’
  • ‘How does this video make you feel?’
• Keep devices in shared spaces where you can easily check in with what they’re doing online.
• Explore eSafety’s Online Safety Mighty Heroes resources together for a fun way to introduce these topics.

For advice on talking with young children about bodies, boundaries and sexual content specifically, see What to do if your child discovers porn online. For tips on building safe online habits from an early age, see Good habits start young.

As children become more independent online, they’re likely to encounter a wider range of tricky situations. Changes in their brains and bodies, combined with growing peer influence and increased online activity, mean the topics you need to cover will broaden. At this stage children benefit from guidance that builds their confidence, skills and critical thinking, alongside clear boundaries.

Topics to start talking about:

• Distressing or inappropriate content. Children may come across violent, disturbing or age-inappropriate content – including pornography – through search results, social media, gaming platforms or shared links. Help them plan what to do: close the screen, tell a trusted adult and talk about how it made them feel. You could ask: 'Have you ever seen something online that upset you or didn't seem right? What happened?'
• Cyberbullying. Talk about what it looks like, what to do if it happens to them and how to support a friend who's being bullied. You could ask: 'Has anyone ever said something hurtful to you online, or have you seen it happen to someone else?' or try a softer opening: 'What's the game chat like – do people generally play nice?' See our Cyberbullying page for more advice.
• Peer pressure and group chats. Help your child feel confident saying no if they're asked to share something they're not comfortable with or to join in with something that doesn't feel right. You could ask: 'Have you ever felt pressured to do or share something online that you weren't sure about?'
• Unwanted contact. Talk about recognising when someone online is making them feel uncomfortable and what to do about it. You could say: 'Not everyone online is who they say they are. If someone you don't know tries to contact you, or someone you do know says things that make you uncomfortable, you can always come to me.' See our Child grooming page for more advice.
• Body image and comparison. Talk about how some online content – including influencer posts and filtered images – only shows the best or most exaggerated version of someone's life or appearance, and that what we see online isn't always real or healthy.
• Keeping personal information private. As your child starts using more platforms and apps, help them stay in control of what they share – including photos, videos and personal details. See our Privacy and your child page.

Practical tips:

• Model healthy digital habits. Children learn a lot by watching the adults around them. You can also share your own experiences: ‘Sometimes I see things online that make me feel uncomfortable. It’s okay to feel that way and talk about it.’
• Stay involved, even as children get older and want more independence. Ask what they’re watching or playing and join in occasionally – even five minutes at the end of a game can help (and it can ease them into switching off the device).
• Encourage them to think critically and question what they see and hear online.
• Continue to support your child to think through how they’d respond to tricky situations: ‘If something doesn’t feel right, what do you think you would do?’

For advice on talking to children this age about sexual content, bodies and relationships specifically, see What to do if your child discovers porn online and Sending nudes and sexting. You can also talk with older children about trusted sources of information about online safety, such as eSafety’s pages for young people.

Teenagers are developing a strong sense of who they are, what they care about and how they relate to others. They need space to grow their independence – alongside regular check-ins, honest conversations and clear guidance about responsibility and risk. It’s important to respect their growing need for privacy while staying engaged.

Topics to start talking about:

• Peer pressure and social dynamics. Online pressure can be subtle – to post certain content, share personal information, join in group behaviour or keep up with what everyone else seems to be doing. You could ask: 'Have you ever felt pressured to post or share something you weren't sure about, or to be a certain way online to fit in?' ‘How do you handle that?’
• Pornography, nudes and sexual content. Talk openly about how porn and other sexual content can create unrealistic expectations about sex, relationships and body image. Let your teen know that pornography is not real life and that curiosity about sex is normal, but there are healthier, more accurate sources of information. You could ask questions like: ‘What do kids at your school say about watching stuff online that isn’t for their age, like pornography?’ or ‘Have you ever been sent a nude, or has anyone asked you for one? How did you feel?’ See What to do if your child discovers porn online for detailed advice, as well as Sending nudes and sexting.
• Cyberbullying and exclusion. This can include obvious abuse as well as subtler forms, like being left out of group chats or having rumours spread online. You could ask: 'Have you ever seen someone being targeted or left out online? What happened?' See Cyberbullying for more advice.
• Unwanted contact and online manipulation. Talk about recognising red flags – such as someone pushing boundaries, asking for personal information or images, or trying to isolate them from friends and family. You could ask: ‘Has anyone ever contacted you online in a way that made you feel uncomfortable or unsure? What was that like for you?’ See our Child grooming page.
• Image-based abuse and deepfakes. AI tools can be used to create fake or altered images. Talk about how to respond if they see something like this and what to do if it involves them or someone they know. You could ask: 'How can you tell if something online is real or not?' See eSafety's information on navigating the deepfake threat.
• Influencer culture and unrealistic expectations. Discuss how online posts and algorithms can shape what they see and create unrealistic standards around appearance, success or lifestyle. You could start by asking: 'What shows up in your feed a lot?' or 'How does it make you feel when you’re scrolling or using [name of app/platform]?' You can also share your own experiences, for example: 'I don't always like how [app/platform] makes me compare myself with other people. Does it ever feel that way for you?’
• Digital wellbeing. Check in on how your teen feels when they’re online. You could ask: ‘How do you know when being online is starting to feel too much?’ Let them know it’s okay to take breaks, unfollow accounts that don’t make you feel good, and talk to you, or another safe, trusted adult, if something is worrying them.
• Social media age restrictions for under 16s – You can use our conversation starters to help your family talk about why these rules are in place and how to manage their impact.

Practical tips:

• Ask their opinion and listen. Many teens have thoughtful perspectives on what they see online – listening first can open the door to deeper discussion.
• Respect their privacy while staying present. You might not need to know every detail, but regular, low-key check-ins show you're interested and available.
• Support them to find trusted sources of information and build confidence in making safe, informed choices. You can explore eSafety’s pages for young people together or suggest they visit them on their own.
• Help them identify who they would go to, beyond you, if something felt wrong or confusing online.

For advice on talking with your teen about sexual content, bodies and relationships specifically, see What to do if your child discovers porn online and Sending nudes and sexting. You can also refer older children to eSafety’s pages for young people.

Some children, including those with disability, may not fit neatly into an age range. They may also face increased risks of harm in online spaces due to barriers in communication, access or support. Adapt your approach to their needs to help them recognise when something isn’t right or deal with a negative online experience. This can support safety conversations and transitions such as switching off from gaming.

For children who may need extra support, you could try using:

• Social stories – short narratives that explain situations and how to respond, such as what to do if someone sends you something that makes you feel uncomfortable.
• Social scripts – modelled examples of what to say in specific scenarios, such as ‘I need to tell a grown-up about this.’
• AAC tools – Augmentative and Alternative Communication tools like picture cards, communication boards, or speech-generating devices.
• Visual supports and body signals – building your child’s awareness of physical cues like a racing heart, and common types of body language can help them recognise when something isn’t right.

These tools can help to break down online safety concepts into manageable steps and give children clear options for what they can do if something worries them.

If needed, consult with your child’s disability support workers for advice on how best to communicate online safety risks and support your child’s understanding.

You can also learn more about how neurodivergent young people can thrive online.